IT’S NINJA TIME!
For too long, the heroes in a half shell have gone unnoticed on this blog. This makes no sense in the slightest, due to their persistent presence in popular culture since the 1980s, so believe me, it was only a matter of time before I got to talking about the lean green fighting machines. I believe it was Jake Peralta himself who once said “I’m gonsta talk about the turtles.”
In terms of Crazy Davis, the TMNT have been an impenetrable bastion of fun, entertainment and inspiration in my life since I was 3 years old. Never before has a franchise endured so much adulation from yours truly or perfectly represented the foundations of my very soul.
The tenets which bind the core of the franchise to my essence have lead me to live my life by the values that the terrapin tribe of four posess. Conveniently, they can be summarised by a verse in their 2003 television show, an obvious favourite of mine.
ONE: Live by the code of the martial arts
TWO: Never fight unless someone else starts
THREE: Always stick together no matter what
FOUR: If all else fails then it’s time to kick butt!
Is that not just the most universally applicable philosophy for all aspects of your life? You bet your bippy it is.
Not only do the TMNT effortlessly bleed into real life with their ubiquitous way-of-life, but they also blend into other franchises so well you don’t even bat an eyelid when you see them in an issue of the X-Files comic.
They’ve had crossovers with the Ghostbusters.
They’ve had crossovers with the Power Rangers.
They’ve had crossovers with frickin’ BATMAN.
There is no one the Turtles can’t touch. Their reach is nigh infinite.
I’m sure you’re wondering what the point of this post is right about now. I am too, in a way. But maybe that is the point. Maybe the TMNT are such a novel concept that they bind the very fabric of the universe together. I don’t see any other logical explanation. Seriously. Because the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles defy logic too.
Just picture it; How do you think a pitch would go for a serious, Frank Miller-esque, violent story about ninjas in New York that are fucking turtles? Ninjas are well known for their speed, their swift motions and instantly vanishing into the night. Turtles are well known for chewing leaves very slowly.
But despite the sheer, baffling absurdity of this premise, they have survived to this day. They continue to stay relevant. Whether its through the baffling nature of the idea alone or the fact that they constantly receive fresh updates every few years.
They’ve been to space.
They’ve been mystical ninjitsu dragons.
They’ve been on a live musical tour with denim jackets instead of shells and fake guitars (please don’t ask).
So you see, I love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And why I can’t force you to love them like I do (because you can’t), I can at least make you understand how much they mean not only to me, but to pop culture and the world at large. At the end of the day, no matter what trouble you find yourself in, the turtles will always have your back. As the saying goes:
“Time to apply some turtle whacks!”
Hmmm. That might not be the best quote to—Ah, whatever. You get the idea.
Shell Yeah,
CD
WORLD OF MADNESS 