First issues are always hard to gauge because it’s merely an introductory snapshot to the series’ story, characters and general vibes. And I gotta say, I’m pickin’ up with what this new flavour of Batman is laying down. This Fresh Prince of Bat-air prowls a Gotham that has been taken over by the Magistrate, a heavily armed and licensed-to-kill police force that’s targeting anyone with a mask. That’s bad news for Gotham, which is literally full of masked bozos, well-intentioned or otherwise.
In this issue Batman saves the life of two young boys who are mixed up with a gang who wear Bane masks by ripping their masks off and beating up the rest of the gang all while dodging the police. It’s your standard Batman fare of appealing to the troubled youth, but with the added zinger of evading the thought police! The Po-Po often look the other way when it comes to Bat-antics, but its a compelling choice to have them serve as a looming antagonist in this new techno-dystopian Gotham.
You ever heard of Tron Uprising? Because I am also I’m getting strong Tron Uprising vibes from this. And that’s the one of the highest compliments I can pay any form of fiction. Seriously, go watch Tron Uprising.
Oh yeah, and go read the first issue of the brand new Batman series under DC’s Future Slate event. It reminds me of Batman: Year One, but with a bluesy new twist.
The long awaited conclusion to the most heart-racing, adrenaline pumping and action packed Clone Wars story ever told is finally here. I’m more excited than a cyborg general who’s added another lightsaber to his collection.
Pictured moments before a severe coughing fit
I’m pretty pumped, how about you? It’s been an amazing couple of weeks going through this series, thanks for a hitching a ride on this hectic story train with me. Because now we’re at the final stop!
Quick recap: Asajj Ventress is dead… or is she? Obi-Wan thinks not! So drags Anakin along with him to the Outer Rim to look for her.
Surpise! They find hardcore Jedi killer Durge instead. So Anakin throws him into a sun and using the severed head of a droid Obi-Wan, finds out a Separatist Army are on Boz Pity. Obi, Ani and the Grand Army of the Republic invade the planet in a big ol’ battle royale. Obi-Wan sneaks off to look for himself and just what does he find?
Ventress. He finds Ventress. She’s definitely alive. Dunno why a whole army’s worth of spies couldn’t figure that out but hey, there ya go. At least Obi-Wan gets to be smug about it all.
But there is no time for smugness! For Count Dooku is in the house. He swaggers up behind Obi-Wan and tells him Ventress survived purely through her hatred. Obi-Wan politely disagrees and says it’s something to do with her fear and despair. Now, I’m no Sith (not yet) but I reckon burning hatred and a desire to murder Obi-Wan is a lot more motivating than being a bit sad. Case in point…
“Queen of a Blood-Soaked Planet” happens to be the name of my upcoming death metal album.
Smash cut to the battlefield outside. The Republic forces are digging in their heels. Adi Gallia (Headdress Jedi-Gal) is too busy striking a dramatic pose with Alpha and some other clone boys and doesn’t notice General “Sneaky” Grievous lurking in the background. Before they can say “Evasive action!” the jolly grim cyborg decimates the Clone Troopers, cripples Alpha by stabbing him through the torso and kills Adi.
If you ask me, it’s a better way to go than how she dies in the tv show i.e. being impaled by the horns of Darth Maul’s brother and then stabbed in the back, but being whacked by Grievous is still pretty brutal.
Mace Windu clocks this and becomes very cross with General Grievous. Grievous unwisely taunts Mace Windu, thus leading to Mace striking Grievous down with great vengeance, furious anger and a STAP, one of the Battle Droid’s flying thingies.
On this day, Grievous learnt to never say what again. Or accept a double dare.
Alpha is taking his injury like a champ and asking for a gun despite the fact he’s literally paralysed. Anakin wonders where Obi-Wan is. Obi-Wan answers this by crashing through a nearby window, followed suit by Ventress. Anakin ignites his saber and threatens to kill Ventress again. Obi-Wan slaps him on the wrist and tells him they’ll never reach her with a lightsaber, they have to appeal to her good side. Unfortunately, it happens to be buried deep below layers upon layers of brainwashing, conditioning and the dogma of the Dark Side, all thanks to Count Dooku. Good luck, guys.
Where is Count Dooku, anyway? Oh yeah, he’s getting ready to totally blow this joint, with or without Ventress. He bumps into Mace Windu and sends him tumbling down a hill by getting his Magnaguards to pull him down. Pretty embarrassing, Mace. Next thing you’re gonna tell me is you let someone throw you out of a window. Like that’d ever happen. Anyhoo, Dooku’s posse manage to find Grievous, who is looking pretty hammered.
ANAKIN: Hey, that’s a pretty good line, Ventress. Think I’ll use it myself.
After that pretty impressive kick, Ventress runs after Dooku. Dooku makes a pretty bold choice and orders his Magnaguard to shoot her. Apparently because she’s ‘too far away’ and ‘she might become a prisoner.’ Dooku, if she’s close enough for you to shoot her, then she’s close enough to get to your damn escape shuttle. Furthermore, you went to all this effort to get her resurrected only to shoot her immediately after. I don’t know, man. Seems like a dick move, even for you.
As Ventress lays on the ground, Obi-Wan rushes up to her as Anakin tries to catch up to Dooku. Obi-Wan calls out to him and explains that Anakin is basically the same thing as Ventress, only if Darth Maul had raised him instead of Qui-Gon. I feel that’s not strictly an apt comparison, but it seems to work. Besides, Count Dooku has already fled.
Asajj, while dying, tries one last time to kill Obi-Wan, this time with a bit of shrapnel. Anakin catches her in the act and manages to kill her a second time with a lightsaber slash to the back. Bully for him. But Obi-Wan actually says Anakin probably did the right thing this time, and it was he that was right all along. Yet Anakin helps himself to another piece of humble pie and says he only did it because he was scared Obi was gonna die…
Oh wait, she is alive—And she’s dead again. Damn.
With her final words, Ventress finally succumbs to her wounds and dies for real. Obi-Wan’s quest is finally over. The medical frigates start flying as the battle is wrapping up too. Anakin sends Alpha off to a bacta tank and Obi-Wan sends Ventress off to Coruscant for a nice funeral. As Anakin ruminates that today doesn’t feel like a victory, Mace Windu chimes in with this gem:
“In any war, the only decisive battle is the last one.”
Whatever the heck that means.
And so, with the battle over and brothers reunited in war, Anakin and Obi-Wan set off to—Wait, hang on. There’s an epilogue.
Goddamn, will ANYTHING keep this woman down? You go, girl.
Okay, now we’ve finally reached the end of Star Wars: Obsession! What a fantastic journey it’s been. With highs such as Obi-Wan’s bad ass armour and Durge kicking ass and only a few lows like improbable hyperspace mechanics and Count Dooku treating his henchwomen like disposable napkins. But through it all, we’ve had a lot of fun.
This May the 4th will be one long remembered in the history of Crazy Davis and even Star Wars, as I made it last for the whole dang month. If that doesn’t make me one crazy-ass fan, I don’t what else will. Apart from turning the carpet shop into a Star Wars themed restaurant. I think I’ll write that down.
Thank you to the folks of Bone Moe for their unconditional and unsanctioned support of this blog, Connor the editor who tamed my wild and frantic prose and all you lovely folks who spent your time reading this love letter to a near-forgotten side of Star Wars I just had to share with you. See you all next week and if you need a carpet or a novelty desert shaped like Chewbacca’s head, look no further than me! Crazy Davis! Ciao!
WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE! It’s the issue you’ve all been waiting for!
Well, maybe not all of you. You’ve probably got some other things going on in your life. But if you knew half of the absolute insanity that goes down in this issue, you would have been begging me to talk about it a day early!
This penultimate issue is where things really start to heat up, so what are we waiting for?
Obi-Wan and Anakin are having a friendly sparring session and certainly aren’t throwing any accusations at each other. Even if they were arguing, it certainly wouldn’t be about how they’re both distracted by a significant female in their lives or dare I say… obsessed? But yeah, Obi and Ani are totally hounding each other for thinking too much about Ventress and Padme, respectively. Will this contribute further to their divide and eventual duel to the death? No, because this story never happened! Still, it was a great way to sow enmity between them before we got the Clone Wars series though. A poignant conflict indeed.
Anyway, Mace Windu moseys on in and says “Look, we were minding our own business until Bail ran off to pick you guys up, so I’m just gonna humour you both and attack Boz Pity with ya.” So, Mace promptly brings them both into a briefing room.
EVERYONE IS HERE!
This Jedi squad reveal that they just happened to be doing their own sieges in the area and have conveniently decided to drop everything and help a brother out. However, this isn’t because they believe Ventress is alive. Boz Pity, the planet that Durge made a sneaky stop too last issue, currently has a Separatist blockade. The Jedi squad have no idea why it’s been fortified like this, but they figure it’s worth a look.
But there are over one hundred warships forming the blockade. What are the Jedi and their loyal clones to do to get past? Fortunately, Obi-Wan has a nifty idea. He shoves Anakin into the pilot’s seat of the Dorito ship and tells him to jump out of hyperspace behind the blockade, between the warships and the planet.
Makes perfect sense, right? That’s why everyone did it in the Clone Wars to completely evade blockades with no resistance whatsoever. If you still think The Last Jedi has the most implausible use of hyperspace ever, I don’t know what to tell ya. I mean, Anakin mentions he could collide with the planet’s mass shadow as well, so at least some thought went into it (unlike “lightspeed skipping”. Go jump in a lake, JJ). Also, I always get a kick out of these next two panels.
I don’t know what’s funnier, the fact that a Venator-Class Star Destroyer goes “SKREE” when braking or the fact that it even has ‘brakes’.
Amazingly, the plan works. Sort of. Anakin brakes a bit too close to Boz Pity and is caught in its gravitational pull. The Dorito ship unloads its starfighters to engage the warships just before it comes crashing down. Another happy landing.
As ace pilot Saesee Tiin tells everyone to hurry up down there, Obi-Wan says Ventress is here for sure this time. Mace reckons that the butt-ton of Battle Droids that are here doesn’t prove that. But they wanna blow them up anyway, so everyone trots off to attack the Separatist base.
A big ol’ battle ensues! Tentacle Jedi-Guy Kit Fisto cuts a Super Battle Droid in half! Horned Jedi-Guy Agen Kolar force pushes a bunch of the off their spindly little legs. Face-Mask Jedi-Guy Plo Koon slices another Super Battle Droid with an orange lightsaber? He used to have an orange lightsaber in Legends and now he’s got a blue one. Doesn’t matter, let’s move on!
Our heroes make it to the Separatist base and attempt to lock down the entrance. Some Jedi named Bayts and Adi Gallia surge forward to do so. But a shadowy figure looms over Gallia and surprise surprise, it’s Revenge of the Sith’s very own original antagonist General Grievous! Stand up and take a bow, Grievous!
…Or just, kill that guy. Whatever works for you.
Mace Windu tells everyone to regroup but also asks where in the nine moons of Endor is Obi-Wan. Turns out Obi-Wan magically snuck past Grievous and is causally strolling through the front door of the Separatist base. Don’t let the lethal cyborg commander behind you be a bother, Obi-Wan. You just continue on your little quest.
But lo and behold; The quest is about to come to an end…
Son of a bacta tank! It’s Asajj-Flippin’-Ventress in the flesh!
Nobody panic, but Obi-Wan has just found Ventress! He was right along! Vindication! Dearie me, what will happen next in the finale of this epic series?! Come to the Den of Crazy Davis next week and you’ll bloody well find out!
Thanks for coming all this way with me and seeing this series through with me to the near end. You better tune in for the next one so we can see how it all wraps up together!
We last left Obi-Wan and Anakin on the trail of Dark Side assassin Asajj Ventress, presumed to killed by Anakin but Obi-Wan ain’t too keen on swallowing that pill. So determined in his search is he that he has found himself caught in a trap set by fearsome bounty hunter Durge. Obi-Wan skives off to find Durge’s ship to get some answers as Anakin and Durge prepare to face off, with this absolutely killer exchange.
Now that’s how you open a comic book!
Durge clocks Anakin across the face, stabs him in the bicep with his spiky inhuman hand straight out of a John Carpenter flick and tosses him across the room, all the while saying “You’re probably the fastest Jedi I’ve killed. And I’ve killed A lot of Jedi.” Maybe Anakin isn’t as bad ass as I thought. Hmmm.
Meanwhile Obi-Wan manages to find out where Durge’s ship is parked but who cares about that back to Durge vs Anakin!
Durge decides to do some redecorating by throwing Anakin through a wall. It’s beginning to look a lot like a Batman vs Bane situation (or a Darth Vader vs Luke in Episode V situation) when Anakin notices a nearby wall absolutely slathered with armed with armed explosives.
Anakin calls Durge insane, to which he agrees. He then says the timers are running out. Anakin promptly replies “Good,” and uses the Force to hurl every last one of the explosives right at Durge.
Obi Wan manages to find Durge’s ship, and it’s looking very snazzy. I kind of dig the retro-futurist vibe of it, and its in a lovely shade of red. Upon sneaking inside Obi-Wan discovers the pilot droid inside is a matching colour. How quaint. I bet Obi-Wan’s gonna get some very useful information from it. Good for him. Anyway, back to Durge vs Anakin.
Oh, Jesus Christ! It’s like the Predator and Grimace had a baby!
Fortunately, due to Durge’s lack of foresight, the fight begins to turn around. Durge has lost his ability to spit pithy remarks about how good he is at killing Jedi and can now only scream incoherently. Anakin chalks this up to his electronic voicebox melting, and wishes that it had also silenced him. The bounty hunter is now reduced to someone about as competent as Boba Fett in Return of the Jedi as he wildly swings at Anakin with all sense of grace vanished.
Anakin switches off his lightsaber and seizes Durge’s mind, soothing him and taking control of his body. He manages to steer Durge towards a nearby escape pod. Anakin launches the pod from the ship, then grabs hold of it with the force. He begins to turn it towards a nearby sun, which just happens to be there of course. Anakin does some fancy hand gestures and sends the escape pod on a beeline for the sun, while Durge pathetically claws at the viewport trying to get out to utterly no avail. The escape pod is swallowed up by the blazing hot ball, as Anakin turns away as if he’s got a minor headache. RIP Durge. You will be somewhat missed.
So now the ship is exploding and our plucky little Jedi friends need to put a boogie in their hoogie and get on out. Obi-Wan has managed to snag the head of Durge’s pilot droid to mount on his mantel but also to find clues about Ventress, I guess. He asks Anakin where Durge is and Anakin says he’s dead.
My favourite part in this issue is this next bit. Obi-Wan does not ask how Anakin managed to kill a guy that was beating him to paste a moment earlier but instead tells him off for killing an enemy that could have given them valuable intel. Hopefully, it’ll be the last time he does something like that, wink wink.
The dynamic space-duo make it to their ships and zoom on out, but are met with a bunch of vulture droids. Things are looking bleak for Ani and Obi when suddenly:
Wha-Bam! Republic ships outta nowhere! Does anyone else here a soft rendition of the Imperial March in the background… ?
It’s Bail Organa! Leia’s Foster-Dad! With Mace Windu! And Alpha-17, who’s kind of like Captain Rex if he had the personality of a Call of Duty protagonist. They talked about coming to the outer rim before, remember? Like, two issues ago? Doesn’t matter, the point is, they pull Anakin and Obi-Wan’s butts out of the frying pan and the fire.
When they’re safely on board the giant metal Dorito, Bail fills him on why they happened to pop up. Bail says they responded to a ‘distress signal.’ Obi-Wan says they didn’t send one. Bail gives a sly wink as he’s all like “I know, but the folks upstairs don’t gotta know.” and asks Obi if he’s still on his quest, because the republic spies have confirmed Ventress has kicked the bucket.
Obi-Wan flips his lid and is about to go off at Bail before Anakin pipes up with “Nah yeah, she is still alive. Durge dropped her off right before he attacked the Correllian billionaire.” But where was she dropped off? A little place called TATOOINE.
Just kidding, it’s a planet called Boz Pity. And what is Boz Pity. Guess you’re gonna have to wait ‘til issue four! We’re wrapping it up soon, folks! The end is in sight. Thanks for coming this far, and join me next week as we start the beginning of the end of this kick-ass miniseries.
ALRIGHTY FOLKS, I’M back! I hope you enjoyed your May the Fourth. You may be done celebrating Star Wars, but I’m sure as hell not! I’ve still got four more issues to cover of Star Wars: Obsession to cover. You know, the one that’s set five months before Revenge of the Sith? Yeah, you know the one. No, I won’t bother with a recap! Go read the last post instead. It’s got great re-read value.
Anyway, where was I? Oh that’s right, Issue 2! Woo Hoo! This one’s another bonza, less conversations with secret wives and lots more action! Even fire! Yes, fire! So you know I’m down for it. Let’s get started!
We’re back on Naboo, the planet that should have been Alderaan in my opinion (think about it, the first planet the Death Star destroys would also be the homeworld of Anakin’s true love. And Emperor Palpatine! And Jar Jar Binks! Madness). Anakin is having a such a lovely breakfast with his secret wife that it’s making him go all “Humm, Haaa, I don’t know if I like this whole Jedi thing anymore, I don’t even wanna pick up my lightsaber again, I really like you, Padme. Isn’t Chancellor Palpatine so great?” Basically, the guy’s ready to pack it all in for Padme, but she’s not having a bar of it.
But before they can finish, in comes Kenobi. He apologises for interrupting breakfast and asks Anakin to help him out. But Anakin is not having a bar of Obi Wan’s krayt spit (that’s Star Wars speak for bullshit) and tells him “I bloody killed Ventress, mate. You’re searching for a stiff.”
Obi Wan relents and tells him he wants to stop the Correlian billionaire’s assassination instead. But Anakin calls krayt spit again and says Obi Wan is chasing a ghost. Padme pipes up and says to her secret husband that Obi Wan needs him. Obi Wan agrees and says every other Jedi was taken. Anakin takes this well, of course.
It’s poignant and emotional moments like this that make me wonder… what does R2-D2 think about all this?
After two pages of Yoda, Mace Windu, Bail Organa and my boy Papa Palpatine having a chat about taking an excursion to the outer rim, we cut to Obi Wan and Anakin chillin’ in the Karthakk Sector. It’s been hours and literally nothing has happened. Anakin starts whinging about the Jedi Council not giving him any missions when the Correlian billionaire’s ship jumps out of hyperspace. Anakin and Obi Wan move a little closer and find it’s swarming with battle droids but there are no life signs on board. So they fly into the ship for a closer peep.
Aaaaaand everyone on the ship is dead. Anakin says “It’s just bloody droids and not Ventress, ya berk. Can we go home yet?” Obi Wan rolls his eyes and they move to the command deck. Anakin finds the corpse of the Correlian billionaire and notices there’s something in their hand. But Anakin should have been a lot more careful. Why is that? Well, you’ll have to ask C-3PO.
As is the Star Wars tradition, the situation is indeed “a trap”, laid by none other than fearsome and ruthless bounty hunter Durge.
Now who is Durge? Good question, but it has a loooooong answer. Best to save him for another post down the line. Basically, he makes Jango Fett and General Grievous look like a pair of Ewoks.
Durge proceeds to lay the smackdown on Obi-Wan as Anakin gets back up. He rolls his eyes at Obi-Wan and quotes The Matrix as he tells Durge to “Dodge this,” and sends a sea of shrapnel towards him that buries him in scrap metal.
Obi Wan realises he’s been played like a fiddle and Anakin says “No spit, you told every bad guy and their son that you’re looking for Ventress!” Obi-Wan goes “Fair cop” and then Durge pops back up. He lunges at Anakin but Obi-Wan finds some random cables on the ground and electrifies Durge. He falls to the floor and as Obi-Wan hopes out loud that will shut him up, Durge blows up the bombs he’s set all over the ship.
Obi-Wan tells Anakin to keep Durge busy as he buggers off. Anakin asks where the bloody hell he’s off to and Obi-Wan says he’s gonna find Durge’s ship.
Anakin demonstrating his legendary self-confidence. Go get ’em, sport.
Another fantastic issue, with a cliff-hanger to boot! What will happen next? Will Durge beat the stuffing out of Anakin? Will Obi-Wan find more clues on the hunt for Ventress? Will Padme get to finish her breakfast? All those questions and more answered on next week’s coverage of Star Wars: Obsession by me, Crazy Davis! I’ll be back faster than you can say “Watch those wrist rockets!”
Get Forced, CD
MAY THE 4TH be with you!
The day is upon us folks! I’ve closed up the carpet shop for the day to observe this day of near-religious proportions. If any of my idiot customers ignore the giant closed sign on my front door and decide they want to waltz on in, I’ve set a tripwire up that launches a bunch of LEGO Tie Fighters at them. I’ve also got a real lightsaber. Don’t ask how I got it.
Figure 1: Diagram of Crazy Davis’ Crazy Carpets fortifications
Anyhoo, how am I celebrating May the 4th? I’m glad you asked. Every now and then, I dabble in a bit of light reading. Air conditioner manuals, labels on sauce bottles and the Communist Manifesto. But as you may have surmised, comics are my jam, and when I found out that Star Wars comics were a thing, I was happier than I was when I sold my first throw rug.
So that’s how I’m celebrating this May the 4th; Smashing Star Wars and Comic Books together and sifting through the rubble! As such, this undertaking can only be split up into five parts. Yes, five! I told you something special was coming, didn’t I? Now listen up, strap in and unsheathe those laser swords, ‘cuz we’re gonna get right into it.
There’s no doubt that the best thing to happen to Star Wars in recent years is Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Truly a fantastic and powerful series that, dare I say, would be on par, if not better than Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren. But I’m not going to talk about either of them. Not yet at least. Instead, I’m gonna take you back. Waaaaay back…
Fifteen years ago, before Ahsoka, before Kylo Ren and even before Babu Frik, the Clone Wars was regarded in a very different light. In fact, it wasn’t very light at all. It was an edgy, bleak and frankly quite depressing era in the grand continuity of Star Wars tales. This precursor to the more lighthearted Clone Wars we know today featured in many comics published by the appropriately named company Dark Horse. These comics have been retroactively declared non-canon when Mickey Mouse bought the rights to the Star Wars franchise in 2015, so the stories depicted in these comics technically never happened. But by no means does that make them any less badass.
Figure 2: Legends stories are everything that came before excluding the 2008 Star Wars: The Clone Wars series. Canon Star Wars stories are any Star Wars media produced after being brought by Disney in 2015 and all of the films.
Star Wars: Obsession is one of these stories and hoo boy, it is a doozy. I’ll be breaking each issue down one by one so the story can tell itself rather than giving you a synopsis. So let’s get right into it. Side note: This story takes place five months before Revenge of the Sith, just so you can get your heads around its place in the timeline a bit better.
We open on a thrilling swoop bike chase through a swamp with no Shrek in sight. However, a bunch of green skinned ogre looking types are chasing a mysterious masked rider. On of them asks if he’s worth all this trouble and his fellow ogre says he’s carrying a lightsaber, which would be enough to buy a whole fleet of swoop bikes! So the masked rider continues to flee towards the large city built on the swamp as the ogres relentlessly pursue their living paycheck. The masked rider yells “Move!’ as he approaches a drawbridge over the swampy waters full of civilians. They flee the bridge as the masked rider tilts his swoop bike underneath the bridge at the last possible second, skimming the water and emerging on the other side unscathed. One of his pursuers fumbles the same maneuver and sends the bridge up in flames. The surviving ogre chases the masked rider towards a jetty. The masked rider’s bike leaps off the swoop bike as the ogre guns it down. He crashes into the ground but uses the momentum to spring back up onto his feet. The masked rider says “You should have let me pass through the swamps unchallenged.” as he reaches for his lightsaber. The ogre replies “Shut up and die.” They charge forward on their swoop bike. But the masked rider is faster. He ignites his lightsaber and slashes the ogre in half, causing their bike to career off the jetty and into a tree, erupting in a massive fireball. Some ruffians approach the masked rider, who senses their presence without turning around.
Just who is this masked badass?!
Needless to say things go badly for this ruffian as the masked rider sends him flying through the window of of a nearby tavern. Most of the patrons scatter except for one, a blue skinned Twi’lek woman. She pulls down her hood and accuses the masked rider of stating that they were going to make a subtle entrance into the city. The masked rider takes off his mask and who could it but none other than Obi-MotherEffin’-Wan Kenobi. In a hood! And some dope ass armour! And looking a little worse for wear.
Obi Wan says the swamps were almost too hot to handle and asks Master Aayla Secura to cut to the chase. She informs Obi-Wan that powerful weapons dealer named Xist is providing intel to the bad guys that is pertinent to Obi Wan’s mission. Aayla suggests to Obi-Wan that he seek the help of his former apprentice Anakin Skywalker but Obi Wan wryly states he is sure Anakin wouldn’t want to be disturbed
This is very much the case, as we cut to Anakin landing his ship at a private palace on Naboo which belongs to his secret wife, Padme Amidala. Anakin tells her they have ten whole days to hang out, so they mark the occasion with a big ol’ kiss. Adorable.
Meanwhile, back in the exciting part of the galaxy Obi-Wan Kickass-obi assaults the fortress of Xist. Obi-Wan duels and beats him as he proclaims he is looking for none other than Asajj Ventress, Count Dooku’s Force-wielding assassin that was presumed dead. Xist reveals he has heard rumours of her survival too.
On Naboo, Padme and Anakin are having a much more civil conversation about how the Clone Wars are coming to an end.
“My Friend.” Yeah right. Let’s see how friendly he is after he slices your legs off.
Smash cut back to Obi-Wan and Xist. They’re sipping some space wine as Xist tells Obi-Wan of a hit being called on some Correlian billionaire, with “Dooku’s best assassin” supposedly on the job. Despite being a vague and misleading tidbit, Obi-Wan decides to take this gangster’s word for it. It’s not as if he’s a criminal who’s providing weapons to your enemy, right?
He asks for a permission slip from the Jedi Council to keep trailing Asajj. They tell him to just get on with it already so he can get back to the front lines. Aayla gives him her starfighter and Obi-Wan goes off to play gooseberry with Anakin, dragging him away from his secret wife to search for a girl that’s probably dead.
How great was that? And it’s only issue one! What a rush. This is possibly my longest post yet, I sure hope it was as fun for you as it was for me. I’ll be back for issue two some time next week so don’t touch that holo-dial! May the 4th be with you, always. At least until next year.
WORLD OF MADNESS 